Divorce comes at you not just with a barrage of emotional and financial issues to sort out but also with an entirely new vocabulary.

If you’re at all unclear about the language being used to talk about what’s happening in your divorce, this quick reference guide will help demystify New York divorce terms from "assets" to "Zero Tolerance" in plain English.

A

Acknowledgment

The formal process of signing a settlement agreement to make it enforceable in New York. Notarization of the agreement may not be enough.

 
Add-On Expenses

In addition to basic child support, the court can award additional child-related expenses which are called Add-On Expenses. These can be expenses for unreimbursed medical expenses, the cost of childcare and extracurricular activities, and educational expenses, that are pro-rated by the parties in relation to their income.

Alimony

Refer to Maintenance. 

Above the Cap

This pertains to a request for child support or upkeep that exceeds the cap defined in these laws. The court has the discretion to go above the "cap" if the income and lifestyle circumstances justify it.

Adjournment

Postponing to a later date. This term is often used in relation to court dates.

Agreement

The ultimate objective of a divorce.

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR)

Resolving a divorce outside of court.

Allocation of assets

Refer to Asset Division

Allocution

A process following an agreement in which a judge asks you a series of questions to ensure you have no reservations about what you agreed to.

Appeal

A court above the trial level can overturn the trial court's decisions. 

Application

A formal request to the court for specific relief. Such as a request for child support. Applications are usually submitted through an OSC but in certain circumstances can be made orally in court.

Arbitration

A method of settling disputes outside of court involving a formal decision-maker.

Attorney Fees

Charges billed to a client by an attorney for providing professional services.

Attorney for Child

A lawyer who represents the interests of the children.

B

Bad Faith

Typically, this refers to behavior during the divorce that unnecessarily increases costs or involves dishonesty.

Basic Child Support

Support paid to another parent for the benefit of the child for basic needs pursuant to a statute called the Child Support Standards Act (CSSA).

Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA)

If a settlement isn't achieved, BATNA is essentially speculation about what a judge will decide if the case goes to court. When thinking about BATNA, it is essential to consider the budget (time, money, energy, emotion) a court case will require. Is it worth it? If not, can you keep working toward a settlement?

Bias

The act of favoring or disfavoring information based on personal beliefs.

Bifurcate

Usually, it refers to the process where the Court first resolves Custody issues and then addresses financial matters.

Billable Hour

Time spent by an attorney on a matter that warrants compensation.

Best Interest of Child

Guidelines for deciding custody issues based on what is best for the children.

Bulldog Attorney

Typically, this refers to an unnecessarily aggressive attorney.

Bond

Payment is made to the court to either delay the enforcement of a court order pending an appeal or to ensure court orders are complied with.

Boundaries

Restrictions placed on relationships, devices, and behavior.

Burdens of Proof

The court sets several obligations that must be fulfilled to achieve the desired outcome. For instance, if you're trying to demonstrate that a property is separate property and not marital property, it's up to the party wanting to classify the property to provide proof of its separate nature.

C

Caucus

Meetings in mediation with only one party and the mediator. Whether or not these caucuses are confidential depends on the situation. Ask if you’re not clear.

 
Child Support Standards Act (CSSA)

Statute that calculates child support, subject to deviation by the court, or the parties in settlement.

County Clerk

Court employee responsible for processing court records, such as divorce judgments.

Complaint

A document filed in court by the plaintiff, usually at the beginning of the divorce. Also known as "pleadings." The complaint states the ground (or reason) for the divorce and requests relief, such as maintenance, attorney fees, etc.

Collaborative Divorce

A team-based divorce process that avoids court. Often brings experts like financial and child specialists into the negotiations.

Collateral

An individual consulted by the court-appointed forensic (mental health expert) to assist in a forensic investigation regarding the parties in a custody dispute.

Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA)

An increase in the amount of child support or alimony tied to the cost of living. COLAs aren’t automatic. They need to be provided for by specific clauses in your divorce agreement if you need a COLA.

Court Conference

A meeting with the court.

Contested Divorce

A divorce that has unresolved issues.

Consultation

A meeting with a lawyer before hiring to discuss representation and strategy.

Contributions

What each party has contributed to a marriage, whether financial or non-financial.  An allowance is made to balance out disparities in a marriage when determining financial issues in a divorce, and both economic and non-economic contributions made during the marriage are considered.

Control Date

A date scheduled to discuss progress in a divorce.

Cross-Examine

Opportunity to question the opposing spouse under oath.

Cross-Motion

A request or application to the Court, such as a motion or an order to show cause, filed by one spouse against the other in response to a similar request by the other spouse.   

Custody

Issues related to children, including where they live and who makes important decisions for them.

Cut-Off Date

The day the financial partnership in marriage ends.

D

Deadlock

Refusal to change one's stance on a position.

Decision Making

In custody, determining who has decision-making responsibility means deciding who has the last word on critical issues related to children.

Deposition

Questioning a witness under oath outside of court to gather information.

Direct Examination

Questions asked by a lawyer to their client during a trial to build their case.

Discovery

Obtaining information from the other party during a divorce.

Divorce

Formal dissolution of a marriage.

Divorce Judgement

Document that finalizes a divorce.

Domestic Violence

Physical or emotional abuse.

 
Downward Modification

Asking for a reduction in child support or maintenance payments due to unfortunate changes in circumstances.

Due Process

Fairness.

E 

Earning Capacity

Income a party could make if they maximized their earning potential, not just relying on their stated earnings.   

E-File

Electronically filing documents with the court using NYSCEF.

Emancipation
The age when child support ends. This is usually 21. 

Enforcement

Ensuring that court orders are appropriately followed.

Evidence

Admissible information used to support positions in the trial.

Equal Parenting Time

Sharing the time spent with kids equally between parents.

Equitable Distribution

Standard used to divide property based on fairness.

Equitable Estoppel

A standard based on fairness to prevent unjust outcomes by holding parties to promises or statements that were relied on to make divorce decisions.

Equity

Determining the value of an asset like a house by subtracting the debt from the asset's fair market value.

Execution

Formally signing an agreement to ensure that it can be legally enforced in court.

Exclusive Occupancy

When one party has sole use of a home.

Ex Parte

Typically, when one party communicates with the court or experts without notifying the other party. Ex parte communication is usually against the rules.

Experts

Professionals (like forensic accountants or psychologists) are used to resolve financial or child-related issues.

Expert Fees

Fees requested by a dependent spouse for payment of experts.

F

Fixed Fees

A payment plan for attorney fees that prioritizes the value provided, not the time spent. Also known as Flat Fees.

Flat Fees

See Fixed Fees.

Forensic

A mental health expert appointed by the court to make decisions on custody matters.

Frame

A persuasion technique that influences the perception of facts.

G

Game Playing

Behavior that causes unnecessary delays and inefficiencies in the divorce process, such as avoiding service, responding late to discovery requests, or taking extreme settlement positions.

Good Faith

Acting justly and fairly.

Global Agreement

Agreement on all issues. See Agreement.

Grounds

Certain conditions must be met to get a divorce. However, with the advent of "no-fault" divorce, these prerequisites (things like adultery or cruelty) are not as significant now.

Guardian Ad Litem (GAL)

A Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) is appointed by the Court to assist someone unable to attend court or protect their rights and interests for a specific matter. They can be appointed in cases involving children or incapacitated individuals.

Guru

An advisor whose divorce experience (and advice) is mostly personal, not professional.

H

Hard Ball

Negotiation tactics that often involve making high demands, issuing threats, or acting unethically.

Hard Bargaining

See Hard Ball.

Hague Convention Matter

Generally, referring to a case where a parent’s taking a child out of the country without permission. Hague Convention refers to a treaty adopted by several countries offering a uniform legal solution for parents who are trying to retrieve their child who has been abducted.

Hearing

A formal proceeding where each party can present evidence, and the court or fact-finder makes decisions on legal issues.

I

Innocent Spouse Tax Relief

If the other spouse has understated taxes due on a joint tax return and a spouse was unaware of these errors, “innocent spouse relief” may free that spouse from the responsibility of paying extra taxes.

Interim Agreements

Temporary agreements between parties during the divorce process.

Interim Orders

Temporary court orders during the divorce process.

Interrogatories

A tool for discovery to get answers to questions given under oath usually from the other spouse. Interrogatories are lists of written questions.

Imputed Income

In child support or maintenance, income is typically allocated to a party based on their ability to contribute and provide support rather than their current financial situation. A surgeon who has taken extended family leave to care for a child will have a high imputed income despite having no current income.

J

Joint Legal Custody

Allows parents to make decisions for their children jointly.

Joint Physical Custody

Parents share their children's time.

Judgment

A court order that clarifies legal rights and responsibilities.

L

Legal Representation

A lawyer hired by a party.

Legal Separation

A clear agreement that outlines the rights and duties of each spouse before they proceed with a divorce action. 

Linking

Linking unrelated matters to gain an advantage. For example, if you're seeking “above the cap” child support, they might request that you waive any financial interest in their business.  

M

Magistrates

Judicial officers appointed by the court who oversee various legal proceedings, particularly in family court.

Maintenance

Financial support for the dependent spouse after the divorce.

Marital Estate

The divorcing couple's assets and debts that are not separate property.

Marked Final

A court conference where the judge refuses to allow any more delays or adjournments. This stops needless delays often caused by manipulative tactics.

Mediation

A neutral facilitator helps the parties in a divorce to resolve issues outside of court.

Motions

Requests to the court for specific relief, such as temporary child support, maintenance, or attorney fees.

Movant

One who makes a motion or application to the court.

N

Narcissist

Individuals often use this term to describe a spouse who tends to be self-centered, inconsiderate, and controlling.

Negotiation

Resolving issues outside the courtroom.

New York State Courts Electronic Filing System (NYSCEF)

The court's online document submission system.

No-Fault Divorce

Obtaining a divorce without needing to prove any fault, such as infidelity or cruel and inhuman treatment.

Notarize

Certain documents, such as affidavits and complaints, require a notary's signature on the document to verify that the appropriate party has indeed signed them.

Note of Issue (NOI)

A form submitted to the court to indicate that discovery is complete and the case is ready for trial.

O

Oral Arguments

Arguments made at court hearings to further persuade the court of a party's position. For context, see Return Date.

Orders of Protection

Orders issued by a court in domestic violence cases to keep one party away from the other.

Order to Show Cause (OSC)

Requests for urgent relief by the court, such as requesting exclusive use of the marital residence, temporary child support, maintenance, or attorney fees.

Opposition Papers

Documents presented to the court to oppose requests, like motions or orders to show causes, made by the opposing party.

P

Parenting Coordinator

A neutral professional who assists co-parents in making decisions about children's issues.

Parenting Plan

An agreement that includes a schedule for co-parents to spend time with their children.

Pendente Lite

Refers to requests for temporary issues needed during the divorce, such as temporary child support, maintenance, exclusive occupancy and/or attorney fees.

Pension

Retirement savings that provide a fixed monthly sum. These can be divided during a divorce if acquired, at least in part, during the marriage.

Personalty (Personal Property)

Personal property such as furniture and furnishings that was purchased during the marriage is usually divided after all other issues are resolved.

Pleadings

Initial documents, such as a complaint, that are required to start a divorce process.

Position Polarization

Hardening one's perspective on what matters most to them often in contrast to the spouse's views.

Preliminary Conference

The first conference with the court. The parties usually request a preliminary conference due to a standstill in divorce negotiations.

Preliminary Conference Order

A court order that outlines a roadmap of a divorce, listing the resolved and unresolved issues, along with a schedule for discovery.

Pretrial

In the court stage, before the case is ready for trial, the focus is typically on addressing discovery matters and sorting out interim concerns like temporary support issues.

Private Judge

A judge, mutually selected by both parties outside of court, who can be used to help speed up the divorce process.

Productions

Responses to requests for information.

Pro-Rata

Dividing costs in relation to income.

Post-Trial Submissions

Once the trial is over, some documents may be filed with the court. If the court allows, certain matters like closing arguments or legal fees can be addressed in a submission after the trial instead of being submitted during the trial itself.

Q

Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)

A legal order allowing the division of specific retirement savings, such as pensions or 401Ks.

R

Rebuttal

Evidence offered to dispute the evidence that's been provided by the opposing spouse.

Referee

A judicial hearing officer who serves as a judge to conduct financial trials for the court.
 
Relocation

When a parent decides to move away and requests a new parenting plan.

Reporter

A stenographer who records live statements in shorthand and diligently prepares transcripts of the proceedings.

Retainer Agreement

An agreement with a lawyer that guarantees legal representation and arranges for an upfront initial payment of legal fees.

Return Date

A date set by the court to hear oral arguments on applications, such as motions and orders to show cause.

Reply Papers

The party who initiated the application to the court, also known as the movant, has the opportunity to reply to the opposing documents that have been submitted against their application.

Request for Judicial Intervention (RJI)

A request for a judge. Often used when requesting a preliminary conference.

Rough Stuff

See Hardball.

S

Separate Property

Property determined to belong to one party that is exempt from distribution by the court. Usually, an asset acquired before the marriage or inheritance.

Separation

Occurs when parties decide to live separately, regardless of whether they have a separation agreement or not, while still married.

Service

Delivery of legal documents to officially notify the other party.

So Ordered

This refers to the process where mutual agreements are converted into court orders.

Soberlink

This is a tool used to verify sobriety before permitting parenting time.

Spousal Support

Refer to Maintenance.

Statement of Net Worth

A sworn statement from a party detailing their expenses, income, assets, debts, and other relevant factors.

Stay

Requesting the court to temporarily delay enforcement of an order usually because of appellate review.

Stipulations

These are agreements made by parties on specific issues.

Stipulations of Settlement

Refer to Agreement

Supervised Visitation

Parenting time that requires the presence of an outside party chosen by the court to protect the safety of a child.

T

Temporary Maintenance

This is financial support provided to the dependent spouse during a divorce action.

Temporary Restraining Order (TRO)

This is a plea to show why you need immediate assistance before the scheduled return date of an application. For example, if you need exclusive use of the marital home and can't wait until the return date, you would request a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). This allows the court to consider and grant your request while your application is under review.

Temporary Orders

These are orders from the court that are in effect during a divorce. See also Pendente Lite.

Trial

A court hearing to address any unresolved issues. Trials are often not scheduled day-to-day but over a more extended period and can even take years to schedule after a divorce process begins due to backlog and the court’s preference for settlement.

Trial Prep

The process of preparing for trial. For every hour in court, allocate at least three hours for preparation.

Transcript

An official written record of the live testimony during a trial.

Trusted Advisor

A professional who puts your needs before their financial interests.

U

Unconscionable

Courts may not uphold contracts that are so heavily skewed and unjust that they shock the court's sense of fairness.

Uncontested Divorce

This involves obtaining a divorce when both parties have agreed on all matters.

V

Valuation Date

The date used to determine the value of an asset. The valuation date(s) can range from the start of the divorce proceedings to the trial date if a trial occurs. Typically, courts in New York decide the valuation date based on whether the change in value is due to active (direct involvement) or passive influences (such as market forces).

Visitation

The time spent with children by the parent.

W

Witness

A person who is prepared to give testimony during a court trial.

With Prejudice

A court order that cannot be re-litigated.

Without Prejudice

A court order that can be reconsidered in the future.

Win-Win

A negotiation theory that suggests that understanding each party's goals and interests could lead to a satisfactory solution for both parties.

Y

Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV)

Divorce outcomes can differ as each is unique, even under similar circumstances.

Z

Zero-Tolerance

The court does not tolerate actions that significantly violate public policy, maintaining a strict stance against such behavior.

Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA)

This is a bargaining range where negotiating parties might find common ground.