Collaborative Divorce

It is possible to resolve your divorce even if you do not trust your spouse. There are four ways to do it: collaboration, forcing positions in court, adapting to a new reality, or doing nothing.

Collaboration requires both parties to work together towards a mutual agreement. If you trust your spouse to act honestly and share their financial information, then a collaborative divorce might be the best option.

However, a collaborative divorce is not a perfect solution. There is a risk that the process will take too long and result in you compromising too much or being manipulated on issues that are important to you.

In many cases, spouses want to achieve something that is important to them, regardless of the cost. This can be a difficult situation to manage, especially if the goals in question are significant. In these cases, it is often necessary to have a decider who can help both parties come to an agreement.

There are different ways to go about this process. Some couples may choose to go to court in order to settle the matter. However, this can be very costly and time-consuming. Additionally, it is not always effective in helping the couple resolve their differences. Alternatively, couples may choose to mediate their disagreements. This can be helpful in coming to a resolution that works for both parties. However, mediation does not always lead to a final decision. In these cases, med-arb may be a better option.

Med-Arb is a combination of mediation and arbitration that can provide couples with the flexibility of mediation while also giving them the opportunity to make a final decision without going through court proceedings.

When you are served divorce papers, take notice. A message is being sent to you.

Sometimes the message is simply a tactic by your spouse’s divorce lawyers to increase the budget. Other times, there are emergency issues that need immediate court intervention. Often, you must respond to the divorce papers in a certain amount of time.

When you are served divorce papers, consult an attorney to understand your legal rights.

I am happy to hear you have decided on mediation. There are three approaches that I offer.

1. Support. If you want to brainstorm ideas, we can schedule a strategy session to prepare for or review mediation sessions. You can schedule a strategy session here.

2. More Support. You can retain me as your attorney throughout the mediation process. The advantage of this over the strategy session is that I would work outside of the strategy sessions on your matter, including revising agreements, communicating with you via email, and preparing more strategies.

3. Mediator. Sometimes, couples request that I mediate the matter. As a mediator for the New York County Supreme Court and Arbitrator and Mediator for the Part 137 Fee Dispute Program, I regularly help parties resolve disputes outside of court. Please email here to schedule a mediation session.

Many people view the court system as the default option for divorce.

Other people realize that getting divorced in court is expensive, extremely time-consuming, energy-draining, and emotionally exhausting.

But court may be the preferred option for people if:

• More interested in winning than problem-solving.

• Unfamiliar with other divorce alternatives such as mediation or arbitration.

• Emergency issues.

• Domestic violence issues.

As of 2024, the cap for child support has been established at $183,000, and the cap for maintenance is $228,000. The court holds the power to award support beyond this cap, taking into account various equitable factors. For a fundamental grasp of how these calculations are made, feel free to utilize the online calculator offered by the court.

When the parties and their attorneys agree to resolve the substantive issues of the divorce, such as custody, support, and property division, outside of court, without using or threatening to use the court system to achieve divorce objectives.

In a traditional divorce, even though it can be resolved cooperatively outside of court, the parties and the attorneys reserve the right to use the court system to achieve objectives.

The concern about using the court system to resolve divorces is that the adversarial nature of the process increases the chances of a divorce being derailed.

Mediation

Mediation is a private, solution-oriented alternative to traditional divorce. Like Collaborative Divorce, mediation provides a non-confrontational way to resolve issues in an informal environment. Mediated divorces can be considerably more cost-effective than traditional divorces, and the mediation process ensures the privacy of the parties’ personal details. Mediation empowers couples with more control over their divorce outcomes.

During mediation, couples undergoing divorce meet virtually for a series of 90-minute to two-hour sessions. A neutral mediator, often a seasoned divorce attorney, facilitates their discussions and assists them in having a productive conversation. The mediator's role isn't to serve as a legal representative for either party but to aid both spouses in identifying and addressing their concerns to reach a fair and mutually advantageous divorce settlement.

Parties are encouraged to collaborate with their consulting attorneys throughout the mediation process.

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is a private and cooperative method to achieve a balanced and beneficial divorce settlement for both individuals involved. This approach differs from a traditional court as both parties, assisted by their individual New York divorce lawyers, work together to address the various aspects of divorce, such as property division, support, custody, and visitation. The parties can also seek the guidance of impartial experts like financial advisors, divorce coaches, and child specialists. These experts dive into the complex issues with the parties rather than advocating for one side.

Like mediation, Collaborative Divorce happens in an informal, private environment, enabling the parties to openly discuss their concerns without the stress of formal court procedures or the public exposure of personal family matters. While lawyers are there to provide advice to each party, it's the parties themselves who guide the discussion. Unlike a traditional court proceeding where each lawyer aims to outperform the other to win a favorable judgment, attorneys in a Collaborative Divorce aid the conversation and help the parties pinpoint and concentrate on the issues that matter most to them.